How to Separate in Ontario Without Going to Court: A Step-by-Step Guide

Separating from your spouse or common-law partner can be emotionally and financially overwhelming. The good news? If you live in Ontario, you can separate without going to court. In this guide, we’ll show you how to navigate the separation process using peaceful, cost-effective alternatives like mediation.

Step 1: Understand the Legal Difference Between Separation and Divorce in Ontario

Before beginning the separation process, it’s important to understand the legal distinction between separation and divorce, especially if you’re unsure which applies to your situation.

What is Separation?

In Ontario, separation occurs when you and your partner decide to end your relationship and begin living “separate and apart,” even if you continue to share the same home. There is no legal document, court order, or filing required to be considered separated—what matters is the intention to end the relationship and the change in how you live together (e.g., no longer sharing meals, a bedroom, or making joint decisions).

Separation applies to both married and common-law couples, and it marks the starting point for making important decisions relating to parenting, support, and property division.

What is Divorce?

Divorce is the legal end of a marriage and is only applicable to couples who are legally married. It requires filing an application with the Superior Court of Justice and obtaining a divorce order from a judge.

If you are in a common-law relationship, you do not need a divorce to end the relationship—separation alone is sufficient.

Living Under the Same Roof

You can be legally separated while still living in the same home, as long as you are living separate lives—this includes sleeping in separate rooms, not sharing meals or social activities, and not presenting yourselves as a couple.

Understanding this distinction is essential for planning your next steps, whether you are creating a separation agreement, negotiating parenting arrangements, or considering applying for a divorce in the future.

Step 2: Know the Difference Between Common-Law and Married Couples When You Separate in Ontario

Ontario law treats married and common-law couples differently when it comes to property division and certain legal obligations during separation. Understanding your relationship status is crucial, as it directly affects your rights and responsibilities.

Married Couples

Must file for divorce to legally end the marriage. Separation alone does not terminate the marriage in law.
Equal right to matrimonial property, including the matrimonial home and pensions. This means each spouse is entitled to an equal share of the increase in net family property acquired during the marriage, regardless of whose name is on title.
Spousal support may apply, depending on factors such as the length of the marriage, roles during the relationship, financial need, and the ability to pay.
Child support is calculated based on the income of the parents and the residential arrangements of the children, following the Federal Child Support Guidelines.

Common-Law Couples

No formal divorce is required to end the relationship. Common-law relationships can end through separation alone.
No automatic right to property division, including the home and pensions, unless assets are jointly owned or a trust claim (e.g., resulting or constructive trust) can be established.
Spousal support may still apply, as entitlement is based on financial need, the role each partner played in the relationship, and other criteria—similar to married couples.
Child support is treated the same as for married couples, using the same guidelines and considerations.

Why this matters: Many common-law partners are surprised to learn they may not be entitled to a share of the family home unless their name is on title. Unlike married spouses, there is no automatic right to an equal division of property.

Understanding these differences early in the separation process helps couples make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary conflict or distress. Whether you’re married or common-law, mediation can help you work through the terms of your separation.

Step 3: Draft a Legal Separation Agreement Without Going to Court in Ontario

A Separation Agreement is a legally binding document that sets out the terms of your separation and how key issues will be handled moving forward. It provides clarity and structure for both parties and helps avoid future disputes by outlining clear expectations and responsibilities. In Ontario, a properly prepared separation agreement can be enforced by the courts and may be included in a divorce application if you’re legally married.

Your separation agreement will typically include the following:

Parenting Time and Decision-Making (formerly known as custody and access)
This section outlines where and when the children will spend time with each parent, as well as how major decisions about the children’s education, health care, religion, and extracurricular activities will be made. The goal is to create a parenting arrangement that focuses on what’s best for the children and works for both parents.
Child Support
Child support is the legal right of the child. This section details how much support will be paid, by whom, and how often. It typically includes both the base (table) amount and any Section 7 expenses (special or extraordinary costs such as daycare, tutoring, or medical needs). The amounts are generally based on the Federal Child Support Guidelines.
Spousal Support (if applicable)
If one partner is entitled to financial support from the other, this section outlines the amount, frequency, and duration of payments. It also includes whether spousal support will be reviewed in the future or waived altogether. Spousal support is determined based on factors like length of the relationship, financial need, and ability to pay.
Property and Debt Division, Including Any Equalization Payment
For married couples, Ontario’s Family Law Act requires that net family property be divided equally unless the parties agree otherwise. This section sets out who will retain which assets (such as the home, vehicles, bank accounts, pensions) and who will be responsible for any debts. If an equalization payment is owed from one spouse to the other to balance out the division, the details will be included here. For common-law couples, while there is no automatic right to property division, this section can still outline how jointly held property or shared debts will be handled.

A well-drafted separation agreement can serve as the foundation for a smooth transition into two separate households, minimizing legal costs and emotional stress. When done through mediation, it reflects mutual input and agreement—often resulting in more durable, respectful outcomes.

A Separation Agreement can be created through mediation, but it must meet legal requirements to be considered valid and enforceable. These requirements are designed to ensure that both parties fully understand the terms and are entering into the agreement voluntarily and equitably:

Be in writing – Verbal agreements are not legally binding. The terms must be clearly documented in writing, covering issues such as parenting time, decision-making, child support, spousal support, and property division.
Be signed by both parties – Each party must sign the agreement as a confirmation that they agree to its terms.
Be witnessed – Each signature must be witnessed by an individual who is not a party to the agreement. This adds an extra level of legal formality and protects against future disputes about authenticity.
Include full financial disclosure – Both parties must provide accurate, complete, and written disclosure of their income, assets, debts, and liabilities. Without this step, the agreement may later be challenged or set aside by a court.
Be fair – The terms of the agreement must be reasonable and balanced. If a court finds the agreement to be significantly one-sided or unjust, it may not uphold it.
Be voluntary – Neither party should be pressured, coerced, or unduly influenced into signing the agreement. Each must enter into the agreement freely and willingly.

To further strengthen the enforceability of the agreement, it is strongly recommended that both parties seek independent legal advice before signing. This ensures that each person fully understands their rights and the legal consequences of the terms agreed upon.

Step 4: File for Divorce in Ontario (If married)

If you are legally married and wish to formally end the marriage—particularly if you intend to remarry—you will need to obtain a divorce order from the court. While separation marks the end of the relationship, divorce is the legal termination of the marriage under Canadian law.

When Can You File for Divorce?

To be eligible to file for divorce in Ontario, the following criteria must be met:

You are legally married, either in Canada or in another country (provided the marriage is legally recognized in Canada).
You have been separated for at least 12 consecutive months, or you can prove other grounds such as adultery or cruelty. In most cases, separation is the chosen ground, as it is the most straightforward and non-adversarial.
At least one spouse has lived in Ontario for a minimum of 12 months before filing the divorce application.

How to File

You can file for an uncontested divorce online through the Ministry of the Attorney General’s website or in person at your local Superior Court of Justice. An uncontested divorce means that both parties agree on all key issues, including parenting arrangements, support, and property division.

Your Separation Agreement, if properly prepared and signed, is typically included in the divorce application package. The court will review this agreement to ensure that reasonable arrangements have been made for any children, as required under the Divorce Act.

We Can Help

At Positive Solutions Divorce Services®, we can assist you with the entire divorce application process once your separation agreement is in place. Our team will help you prepare the required forms, ensure all necessary documents are submitted correctly, and guide you through the final steps to legally end your marriage—without the need to hire a lawyer or go to court.

This service is especially helpful for couples who have already reached agreement through mediation and want to complete the process efficiently and affordably.

Step 5: Consider Mediation in Ontario - a Proven Court Alternative

Mediation is a voluntary and cooperative process where a neutral, trained professional (the mediator) helps you and your spouse or common-law partner reach mutually agreeable solutions. It’s a respectful, cost-effective alternative to hiring separate lawyers and going to court.

Mediation is ideal for couples who are willing to communicate, focus on their children’s well-being, and resolve issues without conflict.

Benefits of Mediation

Saves time and money
Mediation is much faster and significantly less expensive than traditional litigation.
Keeps your matters private
Court proceedings are public; mediation is confidential and held in a secure, private setting.
Puts you in control
Instead of a judge making decisions for your family, you maintain control over the outcome.
Focuses on respectful, child-centered solutions
Mediation encourages a cooperative atmosphere, with an emphasis on protecting children’s best interests and reducing emotional stress.

At Positive Solutions Divorce Services®, our mediators are trained to guide you through discussions about parenting time, child and spousal support, and division of property and debts. Sessions take place online, and private breakout rooms are available to ensure each party feels safe, supported, and heard.

Not Sure if Mediation is Right for You?

Take our 2-minute quiz by clicking here to find out if mediation is a good fit for your situation.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can I separate in Ontario without going to court?

Yes! Mediation and separation agreements are valid court alternatives as long as both parties agree.

Do I need a lawyer to separate?

No, but it’s recommended to speak with one before signing legal documents. A mediator can help reach agreement but cannot give legal advice.

What happens if we agree on everything?

You can create a separation agreement and avoid court entirely.

How much does it cost to separate without court?

Mediation is significantly cheaper than court. Costs vary but are often less than a lawyer would charge for a retainer fee.

How long does it take?

If both parties are cooperative, mediation and agreement drafting can take a few weeks to a few months.

Is a separation agreement legally binding in Ontario?

Yes, if it’s in writing, signed, and witnessed. Legal advice is recommended for enforceability.

Final Thoughts: Separate Smarter, Not Harder

You don’t need to go to court to separate in Ontario. Through mediation and a clear separation agreement, you can protect your finances, your peace of mind, and your children.

Whether you’re dealing with child support, equalization payments, or parenting plans, court alternatives like mediation offer a practical path forward under Ontario family law.

Since 2008, Positive Solutions Divorce Services® has helped thousands of couples separate respectfully and cost-effectively.

Ready to separate without court?

Book your free 30-minute joint consultation today.