Can I Change my Parenting Plan after it's been Finalized?

Parenting plans reflect a family’s needs at a specific point in time in their lives. When major life events unfold, opportunities arise, or children’s needs shift, that plan may no longer serve its purpose as well as it once did.

Family dynamics change, and while written parenting plans feel final at first, it’s recommended to revisit and revise them when needed. The process doesn’t always require going to court. In fact, many families choose to make updates through mediation.

Let’s look at how and when a parenting plan can be changed, what the process looks like through mediation, and a few practical tips for families considering this step.

Why Parents Revisit Parenting Agreements

Life doesn’t pause after a parenting plan is created. Some changes happen slowly; others appear out of nowhere. Here are common reasons families revisit their plans:

Relocation: A new job or opportunity might require one parent to move.
Children’s schedules change: Kids grow, develop interests, and have evolving school or activity needs.
Health issues: Either a parent or child may experience new health challenges.
Parental availability: Shifts in work schedules, new relationships, or caregiving duties may affect availability.
Safety concerns: A parent’s behaviour may change, raising new concerns.

Even with thoughtful planning, life happens. That’s why flexibility is built into the way many parenting plans are designed—especially when handled outside of court.

When Your Parenting Plan in Ontario No Longer Works

Parenting plans in Ontario are expected to reflect the best interests of the child. You can review the **Parenting Plan Guide and Template ** provided by the AFCC for more background on what a parenting plan typically includes.

If circumstances have changed in a significant and lasting way, it may be time to revise the agreement.

This is sometimes referred to as a “material change.” It could include:

One parent moving to a different region
The child’s emotional, social, or physical needs shifting noticeably
New family members or household changes that affect parenting time

If your situation now looks quite different from when the plan was first written, it may be worth reviewing together. Check out our Parenting Plan Services.

The Pathways to Making a Change

There are two main ways to approach modifying a parenting plan:

You Both Agree

The simplest path is when both parents are willing to revisit the plan together. With or without the help of a mediator, you can:

Discuss what has changed
Write down new terms clearly
Sign the updated plan

You may choose to have it reviewed by a family law professional, and in some cases, submit it to the court to formalize it. But many families simply choose to keep an updated written record that reflects what they’ve agreed on.

What If We Don’t Agree on the Changes?

If one parent wants to change the plan and the other doesn’t, mediation is often a good first step. A neutral third party can help both sides understand each other’s concerns and work toward a solution that fits the current situation.

When families can’t reach agreement even through mediation, they may then consider legal options. But many conflicts can be resolved outside the courtroom.

What to Consider When Changing Your Ontario Parenting Plan

Any change to a parenting plan—big or small—ripples through the entire family. Even well-intentioned updates can feel unsettling at first, especially for children who rely on routine and predictability. That’s why it’s important to move through the process carefully.

Keep these points in mind:

Prioritize your child’s comfort and routine.
Sudden or frequent changes can be stressful. Try to keep transitions smooth and consistent, even when adjustments are needed.
Keep children out of the middle.
Avoid asking your child to weigh in, take sides, or deliver messages. Decisions should be made between the adults, away from little ears.
Focus your conversations on the child’s needs.
When discussing changes with the other parent, steer the conversation toward what will support your child—not what feels more convenient or “fair.”
Document changes as they happen.
Keep notes about major shifts, patterns, or concerns. This can be helpful later if you revisit your agreement or speak with a mediator.
Stick to the current plan until a new one is in place.
Unless both parents agree otherwise in writing, the existing parenting plan remains the one to follow. Making changes unilaterally can cause confusion and lead to conflict.

Being proactive, staying child-focused, and working together (or with a mediator) can help make the process feel manageable—and help your child feel supported every step of the way.

How to Update a Parenting Plan in Ontario: Tips That Work

When it’s time to revise your parenting plan, try to be clear and detailed. Vague or open-ended agreements can lead to misunderstandings down the road—even when intentions are good. The more specific you are, the easier it is for everyone to stay on the same page.

Here are some key elements to cover in an updated plan:

Weekly schedule: Include regular parenting time as well as how holidays, long weekends, and school breaks will be shared.
Pick-up and drop-off logistics: Note locations, times, and who is responsible for transportation.
Vacations and special occasions: Outline how birthdays, vacations, and other significant events will be handled.
Communication guidelines: Set expectations for how and when each parent can contact the child, as well as how parents will communicate with each other.
Decision-making responsibilities: Be clear about who is responsible for decisions related to health, education, and extracurriculars—or if those decisions will be made jointly.
Contingency plans: Plan for the unexpected, such as illness, last-minute changes, or emergencies.

If possible, include a visual calendar or table to illustrate the schedule. A clear visual reference makes the agreement easier to follow—for both parents and older children.

A well-written parenting plan acts like a shared roadmap. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s having a structure that reflects your family’s current reality and helps reduce conflict before it starts. Check our “Creating Effective Parenting Plans in Toronto, Ontario” blog

How to Include Your Child’s Perspective

As children grow, so do their needs, routines, and preferences. What worked for a toddler may not fit as well for a school-age child or teen. If your child is mature enough to share their thoughts, it can be helpful to consider their perspective when revisiting your parenting plan—without making them feel like they have to choose sides.

The key is to invite their input in a way that’s age-appropriate, low-pressure, and focused on their comfort—not on adult concerns.

A few tips to consider:

Ask open-ended questions in a casual setting (e.g., “How are things going with the current schedule?”).
Reassure your child that their thoughts matter, but that the adults will make the final decisions.
Avoid framing the conversation in terms of “choosing” between parents.

If the topic feels too sensitive or complex to navigate on your own, consider involving a professional. Child-focused counsellors, therapists, or family mediators can create a safe space for kids to express themselves and help parents understand what their child may be experiencing. In some cases, parents may also consider using a **Voice of the Child Report**, which captures a child’s views through a professional trained in working with children in family matters.

Including your child’s voice—gently and thoughtfully—can lead to a parenting plan that better reflects their reality and helps them feel heard and supported.

When a Change Might Not Be Necessary

Not every bump in the road means your parenting plan needs to be rewritten. Parenting comes with ongoing adjustments, and it’s normal to face situations that are inconvenient, frustrating, or unexpected. But before jumping into a formal revision, it’s worth taking a step back and asking: is this an isolated issue, or part of a bigger pattern?

Here are some examples of when a formal change might not be needed:

A temporary scheduling issue: One parent may need to swap weekends or adjust pick-up times for a week or two due to work, illness, or travel. These one-off adjustments can often be handled with a quick conversation and a shared calendar, without revising the entire plan.
One-time disagreements: Disagreements happen, especially when co-parenting involves different routines, styles, or expectations. If the issue doesn’t repeat or escalate, it may not require a change to the agreement—just a bit of problem-solving or better communication.
A request based on preference, not need: Wanting more time with a child, preferring different exchange times, or feeling inconvenienced by the current setup doesn’t automatically justify a formal change. Parenting plans are designed to provide structure and predictability, and changes should serve the child’s needs first—not just make things easier for one parent.

Before deciding to modify the plan, consider whether the concern is part of a lasting shift or simply a short-term situation. If you’re unsure, a conversation with a mediator or parenting coordinator can help clarify whether the issue warrants a change—or just a better way to navigate day-to-day challenges.

Checklist: Are You Ready to Revisit Your Parenting Plan?

Before making changes to your parenting plan, take a moment to reflect. A thoughtful approach can prevent unnecessary conflict and ensure any updates truly support your child’s well-being.

Ask yourself:

Have your circumstances changed in a meaningful or lasting way?
(Think: work schedules, health concerns, a move, or major shifts in your child’s needs.)
Can you and the other parent talk about it directly?
(If communication is possible—even if it’s not always easy—it may be worth trying a conversation first.)
Do you have examples, notes, or documentation that show what’s changed?
(Having clear, recent examples can make discussions more productive.)
Are you focused on what’s best for your child—not just what’s easier or more convenient for you?
(Changes should be made with your child’s comfort, development, and routine in mind.)
Could mediation help you move forward?
(If conversations are stuck or emotional, a neutral third party can help guide the process.)

Parenting plans are meant to evolve as your family grows. Reassessing your agreement doesn’t mean something went wrong—it just means your situation is changing. The goal is to build a plan that reflects where you are now and supports your children as they continue to grow.

Mediation vs. Litigation: What to Expect

When it comes to updating a parenting plan, the path you choose can have a big impact on your time, finances, and overall stress level. While some parents assume they need to go through court, many successfully resolve these changes through mediation. Below is a comparison of mediation and litigation to help you understand the differences and decide what approach may work best for your situation:

While the separation agreement forms the backbone of divorce settlement negotiations, obtaining the legal status of “divorced” requires an additional step through the courts.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's)

Can we update our parenting plan without going to court?

Yes. Many families choose to revise their parenting plan through mediation. This allows you to work together, address the changes, and adjust the agreement in a way that fits your current situation—without needing to start a legal process.

What if we can’t agree on changes to the parenting schedule?

Mediation can help guide the conversation. A neutral third party can support both parents in exploring options and finding a workable solution that meets your child’s needs and respects each parent’s concerns.

How often can we update our parenting plan?

There’s no fixed rule for how often a parenting plan can be updated, but most families revisit their agreement when something major changes—like a new job, a move, or a shift in the child’s needs. It’s not about frequency; it’s about relevance. If the plan no longer works for your current life, it’s worth discussing a revision.

What if only one parent wants to make changes?

If one parent wants to update the plan but the other doesn’t agree, mediation can help you explore the reasons behind the request and see if a compromise is possible. The goal isn’t to win an argument—it’s to find a solution that works for everyone, especially the child.

Is a new parenting plan legally valid if it’s not filed with the court?

In most cases, if both parents sign a revised parenting plan—even if it’s not filed with the court—it’s still a valid agreement. However, filing it can provide added enforceability in some circumstances. If you’re unsure whether you need to file it formally, a mediator or family law professional can help you decide.

If your parenting plan no longer fits your family’s routine, we’re here to help you explore your options and find a solution that works for everyone involved.

Ready to Change a Parenting Plan without having a lawyer?

Book your free 30-minute joint consultation today.