Guide to a DIY Separation Agreement in Ontario

A relationship coming to an end, often culminating in divorce, brings a rush of emotions and practical considerations. Among the many new challenges, deciding how to approach a separation agreement stands out as both urgent and deeply personal.

In Ontario, spouses considering separation and divorce quickly find that formalizing their decisions can seem complicated—lawyers, court documents, and legal jargon all come into play. But is it necessary to involve lawyers at every stage? Or can you write your own separation agreement in Ontario?

This question is front of mind for many. Whether you had a long marriage, share children, or face issues like child support and/or spousal support, understanding your options empowers you to make decisions that suit your life.

What Is a Separation Agreement?

A separation agreement is a written contract between two spouses (married or common-law) who have decided to separate or divorce. It’s not just about dividing property; it often covers:

Parenting time and decision-making authority (formerly custody and access)
Child support
Spousal support
Division of assets and debts
Responsibility for expenses (future and past)
Other matters like pets or intellectual property

While a separation agreement is not mandatory, having one provides certainty. It helps reduce conflict, minimizes costly court battles, and allows families to move forward with clear guidelines.

Understanding the Basics of a DIY Separation Agreement

Is It Legal to Write Your Own?

Yes. Ontario law does not require that a lawyer write a separation agreement. Spouses are absolutely allowed to draft their own agreement, type it up, or even write it by hand.

For the agreement to be valid and potentially enforceable in court, there are a few important steps:

It must be in writing.
It needs to be signed by both parties.
Each party’s signature must be witnessed. The witness should also sign and print their name and address.

If built on these foundations, even a homemade agreement can carry legal weight.

Pros and Cons of Doing It Yourself

People often choose the DIY option to save legal fees and retain privacy. You know your circumstances best, and the idea of working collaboratively can be appealing.

Potential Advantages:

Major savings in legal fees and expenses
Better control over the process and content
Quicker resolution, especially if both people are on the same page
Less adversarial; can set a more cooperative tone

Potential Pitfalls:

Risk of omitting key legal requirements, leading to enforceability problems
Possible unfairness (intentional or unintentional), especially if there’s a power imbalance
Overlooking tax or long-term financial impacts
Failing to provide proper financial disclosure, which can allow the agreement to be challenged later
Difficulty predicting the needs of growing children or changes in circumstance

If the agreement is later found to be unfair, incomplete, or made without full disclosure, a court order can set aside all or part of it.

Elements Your Agreement Should Cover

Not all relationships, breakups, or divorce cases are alike. Still, certain elements are commonly included—some of which are required by law to address if you want the deal enforced.

Below is a table outlining the most common areas a separation agreement should cover in Ontario:

Section	What to Address
Parenting Arrangements	Decision-making authority, living arrangements, schedules, holidays
Child Support	Table amount per Federal Guidelines, special and extraordinary expenses
Spousal Support	Amount, duration, basis for review/variation, termination events
Property Division	Who keeps which assets, treatment of the home, cars, bank accounts
Debt Allocation	Who pays existing debts, handling of joint debts going forward
Miscellaneous Clauses	Health/dental insurance, pets, dispute resolution methods, costs of disputes

Each section of the separation agreement should be clear and specific. Avoid vague promises or arrangements; clarity now can save headaches later.

How to Start: Essential Steps

Open Communication: Sit down (perhaps with a neutral third party) and outline your wishes and rights regarding each key issue.
Complete Financial Disclosure: Ontario courts require full, honest, and accurate disclosure of all assets, debts, and income before any property or support issue is finalized. This is essential. Not disclosing everything can lead to the agreement being tossed out later.
Research Templates: Free and paid templates abound online, some tailored specifically for Ontario. These can help structure your thoughts and make sure you cover essentials. Start with reputable sources like Ontario government websites or organizations dedicated to family law.
Draft the Agreement: Use plain language whenever possible. Avoid legalese unless you are confident in its meaning. Number each paragraph for easy reference later.
Have It Witnessed: Once you both agree, sign the agreement in front of a witness—ideally, someone independent who isn’t a family member or otherwise involved.

Seek Independent Legal Advice: This isn’t a requirement for an agreement to be valid, but it’s highly recommended, especially if large assets or children are involved. Even a single meeting with a family lawyer to review a draft can save time and problems later.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

A homemade contract can fall short in ways you might not realize until much later. Here are a few pitfalls to keep an eye on:

Incomplete Financial Disclosure: Hiding or not disclosing assets is grounds for the agreement to be set aside. Some people do this unwittingly, not realizing a pension or workplace bonus counts.
Imbalanced Agreements: Ontario law upholds fairness—so if one person is left with nothing (or the agreement grossly departs from provincial guidelines without clear explanation), it’s vulnerable to being overturned.
Missing Witness Signatures: No witness can lead a judge to ignore your agreement outright.
Not Accounting for Change: Children grow, jobs change, and health ebbs and flows. Try to build in mechanisms for future review or change, especially for support or parenting clauses.

Is Notarization Necessary?

Unlike wills, separation agreements in Ontario do not require notarization to be effective. The law calls only for writing, signing, and witnessing. However, there are situations where notarization can add an additional layer of certainty, especially if either party will live or work outside of Ontario at times.

Protecting Yourself: When to Seek Help

While writing your own agreement offers flexibility, some situations demand professional guidance. Strongly consider consulting a lawyer for independent legal advice if:

There is a history of family violence or any power imbalance
You suspect the other party has not fully disclosed information
Significant pensions, business interests, or family trusts are involved
International property or cross-border lifestyles are part of your arrangement
You’re unsure of your rights or obligations

Ontario’s legal system values self-reliance and encourages families to resolve matters outside court wherever possible, often recommending the mediation process as a constructive method to reach an agreement rather than relying on a court order. Still, mistakes can be costly. Even an hour with a seasoned family lawyer can pinpoint oversights or potential disputes before they become entrenched.

What About Online Separation Agreement Services?

The last few years have seen a rise in online platforms tailored to separated spouses, often addressing important issues such as child support and spousal support. These services often walk you through a guided questionnaire, generating a separation agreement you both can review and sign.

What They Offer:

Greater convenience if you’re amicable
Lower cost than traditional legal services
Pre-filled clauses designed for Ontario law
Access to mediation or neutral professionals (sometimes at additional cost)

Points to Watch:

A one-size-fits-all template may miss subtleties unique to your family
Not every service includes lawyer review
Hidden fees can add up when you add in “extras” like document witnessing or notarization

Consider these tools as a resource, not a replacement for informed decision-making with adequate information, especially when it comes to matters involving the matrimonial home.

How an Agreement Protects You

Once finalized and signed, a separation agreement can be filed with the court for enforcement if necessary, though this is not required. If child or spousal support is involved, registration with Ontario’s Family Responsibility Office (FRO) ensures payments stay on track.

A well-prepared divorce agreement can be a shield, especially if matters ever need to be taken to court. It defines rights and expectations, makes future disputes easier to resolve (or avoid), and clears a foundation for future relationships with less emotional baggage.

Many find a sense of justice or relief in ensuring their voice is heard in drafting the agreement. Taking control of your own process can feel empowering, provided the necessary care and diligence are brought to the task.

Final Thoughts: Divorce Doesn’t Have to Break the Bank

Divorce is difficult, but it doesn’t need to be financially devastating. The best outcomes come from preparation, cooperation, and choosing the right process.

At Positive Solutions Divorce Services®, we’ve helped thousands of Ontario couples navigate separation affordably, respectfully, and outside of court. Our process is faster, less stressful, and focused on helping families move forward.

For more general information about separation and divorce in Canada, visit the Government of Canada’s Divorce and Separation

Common Myths

There are a few persistent myths in Ontario about self-written agreements. Addressing them will provide some clarity:

“If we agree now, it can’t be challenged.” Incorrect. If facts come out later—about hidden income, for example—it’s fair game in court.
“We need a lawyer to make this valid.” Not true. Lawyers aren’t required, although seeking independent legal advice is prudent to a DIY Separation Agreement.
“Handwritten isn’t legal.” False. As long as it’s in writing, signed, and witnessed, it meets Ontario’s basic requirements.

Sample Clause: Parenting Time

To show how plain language can work, here’s an example paragraph:

“Each parent shall have decision-making authority regarding the day-to-day care of the children when in their care. The children will reside primarily with Parent A during the school year, with alternate weekends and two weeks each summer spent with Parent B. The parties agree to communicate about important matters and resolve disagreements through respectful discussion or with the assistance of a mediator.”

Practical Next Steps

If you’re thinking about taking a DIY route, preparation is essential. Gather all financial statements, review your family’s needs including arrangements for child support, and either use a reputable template or draft your own document point by point.

Keep multiple copies of the signed agreement and provide one to each party. Do not store the only original with your ex.

Staying amicable and transparent makes drafting your own separation agreement entirely possible for many Ontario couples. A little bit of research, plenty of open conversation, and a spirit of cooperation can make a world of difference.

🗓️ Schedule your FREE 30-minute joint consultation today:
📞 Toll-Free: 1-888-779-8777
📧 connect@positivesolutions.ca
🌐 www.positivesolutions.ca

Changing the way couples separate in Canada — one peaceful solution at a time.

Author: Bev Lewis

President and founder of Positive Solutions Divorce Services®
(416)-559-5527 | connect@positivesolutions.ca | positivesolutions.ca

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Learn More about Positive Solutions Divorce Services

Book a Free Joint Online Meeting to see if Mediation is right for you.

By addressing these important legal and financial matters through mediation, couples can reduce conflict, save money, and reach mutually beneficial solutions without going to court.

Throughout the process, we maintain a neutral stance, ensuring that both parties’ voices are heard, and their interests are considered. Our goal is to help you reach a comprehensive separation agreement that addresses all aspects of your separation, while minimizing conflict and preserving important relationships. By choosing our mediation services, you can navigate your separation with greater control, reduced stress, and significant cost savings compared to traditional litigation. Positive Solutions Divorce Services provides professional mediation services to families across Ontario, helping couples in cities like Toronto, Ottawa, Mississauga, and beyond reach fair and amicable agreements.

Schedule a Free Online Meeting for Mediation Services in Ontario

Frequently Asked Questions

What types of issues can mediation help us resolve?

Mediation through Positive Solutions supports nearly every aspect of separation. Our trained mediators guide couples through key topics like parenting plans, including schedules and decision-making; child and spousal support calculations based on Ontario and federal guidelines; property equalization for fair division of assets and debts; drafting separation agreements; and the divorce application process itself. We also assist with domestic contracts such as cohabitation or prenuptial agreements. Our goal is to provide a comprehensive, one-stop mediation solution that helps you finalize all separation-related matters without needing multiple professionals or a court battle—saving you time, money, and stress.

How does the mediation process work?

Divorce mediation at Positive Solutions follows a structured and supportive process:

Free, joint consultation to introduce mediation and learn about your situation.
Individual intake sessions, where you’ll complete financial checklists and explore concerns privately.
Joint mediation meetings in-person or online, where we address parenting, finances, support, and property.
Drafting your Separation Agreement, reflecting your jointly reached decisions.
Legal review (strongly recommended) before signing the agreement.
Final session to outline and confirm next steps (e.g., filing divorce, implementing changes).

This approach provides clarity, fairness, and a plan personalized to your family’s needs—without court involvement.

Can mediation save us money and time compared to going to court?

Yes—mediation is typically much faster and more affordable than traditional litigation. Court cases can drag on for months or years and involve high legal fees. Mediation, on the other hand, usually concludes in 4–8 sessions over a few months, and our flat-fee packages are transparent with optional payment plans. Because you maintain control over decisions and timing, mediation allows for quicker resolutions—and avoids court scheduling delays, motion costs, and unpredictable outcomes. For many of our clients, this means saving thousands of dollars and protecting family budgets during a challenging life transition.

What role does confidentiality play in mediation?

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of our mediation process. Unlike court hearings, which are public, mediation sessions remain private—nothing discussed is part of public record. This allows couples to speak honestly without fear. Mediators adhere to professional confidentiality standards, and any notes taken are securely stored or destroyed. The only exceptions involve legal obligations, such as threats of harm or child protection concerns. Confidentiality helps maintain dignity and trust throughout the process and enables more open, constructive communication.

What happens if we can’t agree on something during mediation?

While mediation aims for comprehensive agreement, it’s flexible if you encounter roadblocks. Mediators will help you explore options, break complex issues into manageable steps, or refer you to specialists—like financial advisors or therapists—as needed. If a specific topic remains unresolved, you can pause mediation or choose targeted legal advice on that point. Importantly, the rest of your agreement can still move forward while specific issues are addressed separately. Our goal is to help you reach as much agreement as possible, while respecting your unique circumstances and pacing.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is property equalization in Ontario?

Property equalization is the process of dividing the increase in value of each spouse’s net worth accumulated during the marriage. The spouse with the higher net family property pays half the difference to the other spouse.

How is net family property (NFP) calculated?

NFP is calculated by subtracting the value of assets and debts on the date of marriage from the value of assets and debts on the date of separation. Certain exclusions and deductions (like inheritances or gifts) may apply

What property is excluded from equalization?

Excluded property includes inheritances, gifts from third parties, personal injury awards, and certain insurance proceeds, if kept separate from joint assets. The matrimonial home is not excluded, even if it was inherited or owned before marriage.

Does property equalization apply to common-law couples in Ontario?

No. Property equalization under the Family Law Act applies only to married spouses. Common-law partners are not automatically entitled to a share of each other’s property and must rely on trust claims or specific agreements.

Can spouses agree to divide property differently than equalization rules?

Yes. Spouses can negotiate their own terms in a separation agreement, which can differ from what the law provides, as long as both parties disclose their finances and the agreement is fair and voluntarily entered into.

Frequently Asked Questions

How is child support calculated in Ontario?

Child support is calculated using the Federal Child Support Guidelines, primarily based on the paying parent’s gross annual income and the number of children. The amount can vary depending on parenting time arrangements.

Do both parents have to pay child support?

Typically, the parent with less parenting time (or the one not primarily residing with the child) pays support. However, in shared parenting arrangements, both parents’ incomes are considered, and a set-off approach may apply.

What income is used for child support calculations?

Gross annual income from all sources is used, including employment, self-employment, commissions, rental income, and certain benefits. Line 15000 of the tax return (previously Line 150) is commonly referenced.

Can child support be adjusted over time?

Yes. Child support is reviewed and adjusted if there is a significant change in income, parenting arrangements, or the child’s needs. Annual income disclosure is often required.

Does child support cover extracurricular activities or school expenses?

No. Basic child support covers food, clothing, and shelter. Special or extraordinary expenses (like daycare, medical costs, or extracurriculars) are separate and typically shared proportionally based on each parent’s income.

Frequently Asked Questions

How is spousal support determined?

Spousal support is based on several factors, including the length of the relationship, the roles each partner played during the relationship, each person’s financial situation, and whether there are children. The Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines (SSAGs) provide ranges for amount and duration.

Is spousal support mandatory after separation or divorce?

Not always. Eligibility depends on factors like financial need, the ability to pay, and any agreements made during the relationship. Spousal support is not automatic and may be negotiated or decided through mediation or by a court.

How long does spousal support last?

Duration depends on the length of the relationship and the recipient’s circumstances. A common guideline is 0.5 to 1 year of support for each year of cohabitation, but long-term relationships or those involving children may warrant indefinite support.

Can spousal support be changed after it’s been agreed upon or ordered?

Yes. Spousal support can be varied if there is a material change in circumstances (e.g., job loss, retirement, significant income change). This often requires mediation, negotiation, or court review.

Is spousal support tax deductible?

Spousal support payments are generally tax-deductible for the payer and taxable income for the recipient—but only if:

The payments are made periodically (e.g., monthly), not as a lump sum.
There is a written separation agreement or court order in place.
The support is clearly identified as spousal support (not child support).

Frequently Asked Questions

What Are Domestic Contracts and Why Do I Need One?

A domestic contract is a legal agreement developed between two individuals—spouses, common-law partners, or couples planning to cohabit—to manage their rights, responsibilities, and expectations during a relationship or after separation. Common types include cohabitation agreements, marriage contracts (prenups), separation agreements, and post-divorce contracts.

These agreements help address important matters such as property division, financial support, and decision-making, setting clear expectations and preventing misunderstandings. They offer stability and peace of mind, particularly for couples entering a long-term partnership, blending families, or protecting assets from a previous marriage. Domestic contracts are legally binding when properly drafted, signed, and executed following Ontario guidelines. Investing in one now can reduce costly legal disputes and emotional stress later, while giving both parties transparency around financial and familial arrangements.

How Does the Domestic Contract Process Work?

Here’s a step-by-step summary of our domestic contract process:

Free Introductory Meeting: We’ll clarify the type of contract you want, answer initial questions, and explain how the process works.
Individual Intake Sessions: Each person meets privately with a mediator to gather personal goals, values, and relevant financial information.
Drafting Discussions: Parties and mediator work through key terms (asset protection, decision-making, support provisions, etc.), either in person or online.
Agreement Drafting: Mediators prepare a draft that reflects your discussions and intentions.
Review and Independent Legal Advice: Each person meets their lawyer to review the contract and ask questions.
Signing and Implementation: Once both parties sign, the contract becomes legally binding. We help with filing or registering it if necessary.
Follow-Up as Needed: Should circumstances change, you can revisit and revise the agreement.

This clear, collaborative pathway ensures your domestic contract aligns with both your needs and Ontario’s legal framework.

What Topics Can a Domestic Contract Cover?

Domestic contracts are highly customizable. Commonly addressed topics include:

Property and financial asset division, including bank accounts, investments, and real estate
Debt allocation, including student loans or mortgages
Spousal support terms, such as fixed amounts, duration, or waivers
Decision-making authority around children (when applicable)
Inheritance or estate planning considerations, especially for stepfamilies
Roles and financial responsibilities during the relationship
Business ownership interests or professional practice protection

We work with you to design an agreement that reflects your specific goals and realities. Our mediators guide both partners through open, respectful discussions to reach outcomes that fit your unique circumstances—whether emphasizing protection, clarity, or flexibility.

How Do You Ensure a Contract Is Legally Enforceable?

To make sure your domestic contract holds up in court, our process deeply focuses on key legal elements:

Full and accurate financial disclosure from both parties
Voluntary participation, ensuring no one is coerced
Clear and understandable language, without hidden clauses or ambiguity
Independent legal advice for each party prior to signing
Proper execution, including witnessing and notarization as required
Timely documentation, ensuring the agreement is signed and dated correctly

By following this framework, we help you create a strong, legally valid agreement that stands the test of time—and avoids future challenges around interpretation or legitimacy.

What Happens If Life Changes After Signing?

Life is rarely static—and your domestic contract should adapt with you. Whether you get married, have children, or experience a change in income, we can help modify your agreement to suit evolving needs.

Here’s how we guide updates:

We begin with a brief review session to identify which parts of your contract need attention.
New discussions follow about updated goals and circumstances.
Draft revisions are prepared to reflect those changes, with clear acknowledgment of the original contract.
Legal reviews and re-signing ensure the updated contract remains valid.

This adaptable process empowers you to maintain clarity and fairness as life shifts—while preserving the legal integrity and intent of your original agreement.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I apply for a divorce in Ontario?

You must complete and file a divorce application with the Ontario Superior Court of Justice. This includes submitting a copy of your marriage certificate, any related court orders or agreements, and paying the required filing fees. You can file jointly or individually.

What are the grounds for divorce in Ontario?

The only legal ground for divorce in Canada is a breakdown of the marriage, which can be proven by:

One year of separation (most common),
Adultery, or
Physical or mental cruelty.

Can I apply for a divorce without going to court?

Yes. If all other matters (support, property, parenting) are resolved and documented (e.g., in a separation agreement), you can apply for an uncontested or joint divorce, which usually does not require a court appearance.

How long does it take to get a divorce in Ontario?

Once the application is submitted, an uncontested divorce typically takes about 2 to 3 months, depending on court processing times. Delays may occur if documentation is incomplete or if the application is contested.

Do I need a lawyer to file for divorce in Ontario?

No, a lawyer is not required, especially for uncontested or joint divorces. However, it’s wise to obtain legal information or assistance—particularly to ensure your documents are accurate before filing.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should be included in a parenting plan?

A parenting plan typically outlines the parenting schedule (days, holidays, vacations), decision-making responsibilities, communication protocols between parents and with the child, transportation arrangements, and guidelines for resolving disagreements.

How is parenting time determined in Ontario?

Parenting time is based on the best interests of the child, considering factors like the child’s needs, relationships with each parent, routines, and each parent’s ability to care for the child.

Can a parenting plan be changed after it's finalized?

Yes. Parenting plans can be revised if both parents agree or if there has been a significant change in circumstances. Mediation can assist if parents disagree on the changes.

What happens if one parent doesn’t follow the parenting plan?

If a parent fails to comply with the agreed-upon plan, the other parent can seek enforcement through family court or return to mediation to resolve the conflict.

Is mediation required to create a parenting plan?

While not mandatory, mediation is strongly encouraged as it promotes cooperation and helps parents create a plan tailored to their family’s unique needs without going to court.

Throughout the mediation process, we encourage open communication and creative problem-solving, often uncovering mutually beneficial solutions. Our goal is to help you create a separation agreement that provides clarity and stability during this transitional period, while also being flexible enough to adapt to future changes.

By choosing our mediation services for your separation agreement, you can often achieve a more personalized and comprehensive document than one created through traditional legal channels, potentially saving time, reducing costs, and laying the groundwork for a more amicable post-separation relationship.

A Separation Agreement is a legally binding document that outlines how separating spouses will divide parenting responsibilities, property, and finances after a relationship ends. At Positive Solutions Divorce Services®, we help couples create clear, enforceable Separation Agreements through mediation—without going to court.

Our trained mediators guide both partners through every topic that matters: parenting time, decision making, child support, spousal support, and property equalization. We offer a calm, structured environment where couples can resolve issues respectfully and affordably. Once decisions are made, we prepare a comprehensive agreement that can be reviewed by independent legal counsel and signed to become legally binding in Ontario.

*Separation Agreements Disclaimer

*The information included in a Separation Agreement, or other applicable documents, is purely a guide and cannot substitute for a lawyer’s skill, knowledge, and careful drafting. These documents are simply reflective of the information received from you and are an administrative service only.

Positive Solutions Divorce Services® does not warrant and is not liable or responsible for ensuring the validity and/or enforceability of any Agreement or clause in an Agreement and remains your full and sole responsibility. Full financial disclosure is a crucial element in the preparation of any Agreement. It is also critical that you understand your rights and obligations under existing law.

In many circumstances, the Agreement will be addressing complex assets and issues, such as corporations, trusts, pensions, tax implications etc. In these cases, it is imperative that the actual relevant documentation be reviewed and that the expertise of an accountant or specialist in the subject area be consulted to ensure that the Agreement properly addresses these complex assets and issues. It is strongly recommended that you retain Independent Legal Advice before signing any documentation arising out of the end of your marriage or common law relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a separation agreement?

A separation agreement is a legally binding contract between separating spouses that outlines how they will handle key issues such as parenting time, decision-making, child support, spousal support, and division of property.

Is a separation agreement legally enforceable in Ontario?

Yes. If properly drafted with full financial disclosure, signed voluntarily by both parties, and witnessed, it is enforceable in court under Ontario’s Family Law Act and Contracts Law.

Do I need a lawyer to create a separation agreement?

While not legally required, it is recommended that both parties obtain independent legal advice (ILA) before signing. This ensures the agreement is fair and helps prevent future legal challenges.

Can a separation agreement be changed after it’s signed?

Yes. It can be amended by mutual agreement if circumstances change. If there is disagreement, the matter may require mediation, negotiation, or a court application to vary the agreement.

What happens if one spouse doesn’t follow the separation agreement?

If a party breaches the agreement, the other may enforce it through court proceedings. The court can compel compliance, including orders for payment or changes in parenting time or support.